The dreaded Bishop's office

So, you get that phone call that a member of the bishopbric wants to see you. I hate the waiting and wondering of what it will be. If I am going in there, I am most likely being released from my current calling. Will I get another one? Or are they going to give me one in addition to the one I have. Kelly, if you are reading this, did you know anything about it?

It's a...Baby

Girl to be exact. We had an ultrasound today and it was confirmed. The baby is good although she measures a week behind. Kierra was the same way so it doesn't worry me. For those that didn't know I was pregnant, sorry. This entry probably explains a lot about my mood and other feelings in previous entries. It is weird being pregnant this time since it is a bit different than it was with Kierra. I am not sick any more which is a nice plus. Dealing with another kid at the same time has made me realize that the uterus is definitely made of steel. Yes, when I was preggo with Kierra, there was a huge amount of heavy labor but I never had someone stepping on it. I am starting to look more like I am fat than pregnant though. I have an upper bulge rather than a lower one. I am hoping that everything goes as well as it did with Kierra and that I don't get huge.

I forgot to add that the due date is April 14th. I also hope that none of you are thinking "that's the last thing that they need is another kid." We are excited and especially to have another girl. Richard doesn't know what to do with a boy. I guess he likes being extremely outnumbered.

Hmm, what do I really like?

Since I have gotten some comments from family members of how grumpy I am, I have been thinking about what I actually like about life. It's been 7 months since I quit my job and so I think I might have lost a bit of myself since then. Here is my attempt to redeem myself.

I like...

Kitties, lots of kitties. Especially petting and cuddling them.

Uninterrupted sleep.

When Kierra gives me hugs and kisses.

When Richard gives me hugs and kisses.

Being snugglie under lots of blankets in the cold.

Quiet.

Being loud with my friends (that doesn't happen that often).

Rollercoasters.

A clean house for 5 minutes.

A good, cheap salad. Lets just say good, cheap food in general.

Getting a good deal.

Accomplishing something.

Getting rewarded for my hard work on something.

Hearing Kierra sing the ABC song perfectly and yelling the last 4 letters. W X Y Z!!!

Successfuly cooking a meal that results in tons of leftovers that Richard will eat.

Yummy smelling candles.

Going to school.

A well rested child.

Going somewhere I have never been and enjoying it.

Sitting by a fire and burning random things. HE HE

Having someone that loves me no matter what, and is sexy too!

I think I will leave it at that for now because it could go on for a very long time.

I'm venting ok!!

This post is for me. IF it offends anyone, keep your mouth shut. In our household we have the terrible two's and the terrible twenty-seven's with Richard on the sidelines. I am at my whits end with Kierra and yes I know that I have a long way to go. How in the crap are you supposed to parent a kid that whines, screams and cries all of the time. She doesn't know what she wants and when she does, it still involves a tantrum. I suck at motherhood. I have zero patience for it and I am afraid the neighbors can hear it. Most of the time I am dissappointed in me rather than her for my actions. I completely understand why she doesn't like me. It's like both of us have become different people within the last month. We are constantly butting heads. Is this what our lives are going to be like forever? Hormones constantly surging. It makes me feel bad when I hear or read about other people's children and how they love everything they do. They are sweethearts. It makes me wonder if it is all because of me. Is my personality and temperment the cause for the constant tension in our house? It makes me feel really bad when she is always asking for her dad too. If he leaves the room, she cries. Is it like that for anyone else? I feel like I am eventually going to lose it. It is causing me to have a hard time to express my love to her when she acts like she hates me. Then I get freaked out to think about how you do this with more than one. Why do we want to do this over again and it's only just begun.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with temper tantrums, advice is welcome. I also don't want this entry to sound like I don't love Kierra. I really do but I am having a really hard time expressing it to her when she is like this. If you suggest therapy, we can't afford it.

Halloweeeeeeeeen

I don't have a whole lot to say about the festivities because there weren't many. Kierra went trick or treating for the first time this year. She also did the trunk or treat, I thought it was pretty gay. We had more fun going from door to door. She didn't get what we were doing at first. The first couple of houses she tried to go inside. She thought we were going there to stay. Here are some pics. She is a turtle by the way.